


Speechless.

by Alexander_honestly_needs_sleep



Category: Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens Fluff, Alexander crying, Alexander has a stutter, Cute Alexander Hamilton, Gay John Laurens, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, M/M, Protective John Laurens, Thomas Jefferson Being an Asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexander_honestly_needs_sleep/pseuds/Alexander_honestly_needs_sleep
Summary: Alexander Hamilton cannot speak as fluent as he would have liked to. He stumbles over his words. He needs a little help sometimes! And John's happy to provide ! Watch as Alex and John grow together :)///This is a very sappy coming of age story :)
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I made this story up in a minute lol bare with me! The plan is 40 chapters :)))

September 18th  
Dear Diary,  
It’s me Alexander your chief editor. I write today to bring you the good news! I got a new snail in my collection! Her name is lettuce! She is the baby of the group. She crawls up my arms and it makes me laugh. Not as much as John tho! He makes me laugh lots more. But thats fine. Lettuce is very special! Her shell patter is so crazy and unique. I love it. She’s like me. Special. Well- I’m special in a good way. Before mama died she said I was a very special boy. I think not, I think my stutter is ugly.

John thinks it is so adorable though. I like that. He makes me the happiest person in the world. At school yesterday he made me a cat cupcake. I overreacted and cried. I had to hide my face in my bucket hat. I think it made John happy. He was concerned when I cried but then I pulled up the bucket hat and he smiled cus I smiled. It was a very nice moment. My friend Hercules made me a sweater. It’s my favourite colour. Green. It matches my sparkly green toothbrush. I like things matching. 

JUST LIKE ME AND JOHN!!!! We match! He’s my other half. My soulmate! He is the love of my life! I could never say that before but I say it today. I love him. He loves me even though I have my ugly stutter. I think he’s very special.

Like me.

Sincerely,  
Your chief editor,  
Alexander Hamilton :]

\-----------------------------

The pink beaten up brush was a useful tool in the mornings.

Alexander was always battling his messed up, tangled auburn hair. Maybe it’s because he had lacked the energy to look nice at home or it’s the fact he couldn’t care.

The battle was never-ending.

Alexander stood in front of the mirror, using the battle tool. His hair was not submitting. With a grown he chucked the brush into the sink. He sighed and simply tied it up, putting the striking green bow into his hair. He smiled even though his hair was stupidly messy and got ready with the day. He grabbed his sparkly green toothbrush and delicately poured the toothbrush, the small little swirl at the end bringing a smile.

He started at himself and followed the routine. He made sure to keep his mouth as clean as possible. He swished it around, going in and out and making sure to get his tongue.

Soon it was all over. He smiled widely, his teeth as pearly white as ever. Cleaning off the toothbrush, he was off. He ran back into his room and heaved off his clothes and put on da matching green clothes. Green was his thing.

His green sweater Hercules made fitted quite nicely and his jeans with the little cat emblem sewed on completed the look. Whilst he was no ‘fashionista’ at all, he could make himself look decently pleasant.

And with that, he was finished. He threw on his kitten backpack that he got off of some Chinese store and ran down the stairs, pushing past a wooden chair that seemed to be thrown over. He yelped as his bag strap got caught. He growled at it but it eventually got uncaught and he grinned. “Hell yea!” He escaped down the hallway and got out of the house. 

He was immediately hit with the cool breeze, his ginger locks flowing in the air. Freedom at last! 

He put on his light-up Skechers and put on his bucket and pulled up the string so the bucket hat was strapped tightly.

He walked down the stone steps and headed to the footpath that shall take him to his destination.

School.


	2. Socially unaccepted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has a panic attack. John is stumped on how to help him. He has to make a serious call and both John and Henry question how safe Alexander is.

“J-John!” Alex yelled as he saw John get dropped off. The blonde boy smiled and ran up to the younger boy. “What’s up my favourite person”, he smiled and embraced the younger boy, kissing him on the cheek. “I-I-I cou-cou-couldn’t brush m-my hair th-th-this morning. I-I-It was s-s-so hard! I-I’m v-v-v-very s-s-sorry I l-look u-u-ugly this m-m-morning” He said looking down a bit.

“Alex-” he grabbed Alexander’s chin and lifted it up so he was staring at him. “You are never ugly. Ever. Do not ever think that you are. It’s fine you couldn’t do your hair. I sometimes can’t do mine and thats fine. I’m just glad you woke up and tried. Would you like me to do your hair?” He said, spinning his own backpack around.

Alexander nodded excitedly. “P-P-Please!”

John laughed and grabbed his hand and pulled him away near the gardens. They both would always get to school much earlier than the normal student would. Just in case something like this happens, they would get time.

John sat Alex down on the step and slowly pulled off his bucket hat. “Here you go Lexi”, he leaned forward and handed him his hat. Alex smiled and practically cuddled the hat.

John leaned down and grabbed his backpack, opening up the smaller pocket and grabbed a hairbrush. He always brought a hairbrush to school, he’s quite familiar with Alexander’s hair meltdowns so he always makes sure to keep one just in case he has one.

He pulled out Alexander’s bow and softly untangled the hair with his fingers, making sure to undo every little intersection. Once that was done he brought up the brush and slowly started brushing. Using his hands, he would lift up every lock and slowly tame the mess that was his hair. 

Once he was done he grabbed the bow and tied his hair back into a low ponytail. “Aaaaannnn-” he stopped what he was about to say. Soft little snores could be heard and instantly John knew what he had done. He leaned over and saw a beautiful sight. Alexander had fallen asleep, cradling the yellow hat like a baby. “Alexxxxx” he whispered softly. “You gotta wake up baby, we’re at school”

He lightly shook Alex, who slowly woke up. His eyes fluttered open and he instantly clung to John. He looked like a newborn kitten. “W-wh-wha-”, he said as he turned his head around like a security camera. “W-w-we at sch-sch-school?” He turned his head like a curious puppy. John nodded. “I did your hair then you fell asleep” he smiled at the smaller boy. “O-oh..” He looked down. “S-s-sorry” he looked up at him, smiling sheepishly. “You know it’s alright Alex”, John said returning a smile. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and glanced at the time. “Did you eat breakfast this morning?”

The ginger boy shook his head. “N-n-no. L-l-l-last night pe-pe-peter a-ate the l-last box o-of fro-fro-froot loops!” He exclaimed dramatically, his face morphing as he spoke. John just shook his head and leaned once more into his bag. He pulled out a breakfast bar. Alexander’s eyes lit up.

It was his favourite brand. He grinned and cheekily took it from him. “M-m-mine!” He laughed and pulled back the wrapping and chomped down. John smiled and opened his palm, beckoning him to put the rubbish into his hand. He followed suit and put the wrapping in his palm.

He soon finished, grinning and wiping away crumbs on his hands. “H-how many m-minutes?” He exclaimed, clicking in the backpack straps. “2. We should hurry. We have English first and I doubt she’ll be happy with me if I get there late. Emphasize on the ‘I’ bud. She won’t yell at you I promise.” He noticed his boyfriend's discomfort and quickly commented on it.

“O-oh okay! Y-you be l-l-late I won’t, I r-r-race you th-th-there” He grinned and ran away from John. John smirked and chased after the smaller boy.

It was easy to catch up to his smaller boyfriend who squeaked when John wrapped his fingertips under his backpack strap. “Gotcha!” He smiled and tugged him back, kissing his cheek. “N-no fair! I-I W-WIN!!” He yelled out, a few people staring at them. “Hey Alex shh” he quietly said as he noticed people were staring. 

That was like an alert to Alex’s brain. They were looking.

He gulped and pulled down to his shield; the almighty bucket hat. And as if it was the bat signal, John knew what was up. He immediately grabbed the smaller boys hand and pulled him away from everybody and pulled him to a more secluded place. It was a hiding spot for them. John and Alex kinda claimed it.

John ignored the bell as he whispered soothingly into Alex’s ear. It didn’t seem to help. The bell overrode John’s voice which sparked Alexander’s anxiety. He didn’t like to be late.

John sighed and grabbed Alex’s face and pulled up the bucket hat. “Hey, it’s okay. Look we aren’t going to go to first period. Or second. We’re going to wait until recess. I know you hate missing out on class but I’d rather you feel safe. Look- even I’ll take the blame if you’re scared. Do you feel okay?”

Alex shook his head. “Th-th-th-” he looked away. He couldn’t speak, he was too nervous. John caught on and clapped to get Alex’s attention. 

The little light in John's brain lit up, he knew what he had to do. He had to use ASL.

Using his hands, he carded out what he would’ve said to him.

‘Are you okay?’

‘No’

‘Need me to call someone?’

‘Anyone but Peter please…’

‘Who would you prefer- I got a lot of people in my contacts’

‘I don’t know..I just can’t be here. Not today. I feel sick and scared John.’ 

‘Alright- I’ll call my dad maybe..’

‘Won’t he be angry?’

‘If it’s for you he will understand’

John reached over and grabbed his phone and dialed his father’s number. After a few beeps, he finally answered and John quickly put on speaker.

‘Alex needs to hear conversations or he’ll overthink’ 

“John what did I tell you about calling me whilst you are in class-” Henry said over the phone, his tone more gruffly than John had anticipated. “Dad it’s not for me. It’s for Alex. He’s had a bad morning and he can’t stay at school. His foster parent is at work and he gets really angry about this stuff. Look if you can please come over here and I don’t know- just do something? Please- I can’t- we can’t. I know I’m disrupting your work but it’s not safe here for him and I cannot help him in this environment and I can’t just leave the school with him. I’d get in massive trouble and just- AGH DO SOMETHING DAD” John eventually snapped, his anger more prominent than ever. He felt so helpless. He couldn’t help his boyfriend and that was the worst feeling ever. When he got with Alex, many people told him that he would be hard work. But any relationship is hard work. He just needs a little more help than others and that was fine with John. 

Henry sighed. “Okay, okay. Calm down, son... Is Alex next to you?”

“Yeah- he’s sitting next to me” he responded, looking over at the exhausted boy.

He paid all his attention to the grass. Alex liked nature. That was an interest both parties had shared. John smiled at his boyfriend as his eyes widened at the sight of a lady beetle. 

“Okay okay- I’ll be there in 15 minutes... Does Alex still have me as an emergency contact?”

Henry’s words brought John out of his trance. “Yes- he does I’m pretty sure. Okay thank you dad I love you” 

“I love you too John. Tell Alex not to worry and I’ll be there soon”

And then he hung up.

“I-I’ so-so-sorry I sh-shouldn’t have o-over r-r-r-reacted…” Alex quietly said, his voice shaky. “I-I’m sorry I’m s-s-so w-w-weak” he added at the end and pulled down his hat so stop himself from seeing John’s reaction.

John sighed and scooted over, and tentatively wrapped an arm around him. “It’s okay Alex. You’re not weak, you’re so strong. Sometimes we have bad mornings and we can’t get through the day. I understand that, and I’m sorry everything is taking so long. I wish Peter wasn’t such a dick to you! Wait hey! Maybe I can convince my dad to adopt you! If we tell your social worker how he’s treating you maybe you can live with me! And then we can be with each other all the time. And we can leave school whenever you need to because we won’t have to seek permission because ya know, your foster dad is your primary caregiver and my dad’s emergency contact. Imagine how great that would be” John finally was excited. He could imagine what it would be like living with Alex. He’d get so many hours to spend with Alex it’s like a dream come true. He would have to cross his fingers and talk about that in private later.

Alex pulled up his bucket hat shield. “A-are y-y-y-you s-s-sure y-y-y-you w-w-w-want to l-l-live w-w-w-with me?” Alex was so bad at hiding his excitement. His eyes lit up in a way it was impossible to ignore it. “Oh absolutely. “ John grinned and moved his face closer to Alex. “Imagine all the things we can do together. My backyard has so many snails you have no idea. And you can finally have a real thanksgiving and Christmas and every important holiday that I know you have never experienced. And you can play Stardew Valley for as long as you want. And we can do our homework together! You can help me with my shit English- I can’t even spell simple words- WOAH HEY DON’T YOU LAUGH AT ME-” John smiled at Alexander who was now laughing at John’s poor English skills. “I-I-I’m s-s-s-sorry! R-r-r-remember the time y-y-you cou-cou-couldn’t sp-spell d-d-decisive!”

“Excuse me I did not know! But okay Mr ‘I know everything’” He chuckled at Alex’s happiness. “I-I-I'm just ad-ad-advanced!” He grinned at john and put his head up high. “I-I-I am su-su-superior!” He yelled quietly. John nodded along, encouraging his friend. “Damn right you are. My super Alex.”

Alex’s eyes widened at that. “Su-su-super Alex? Y-y-you think I-I’m su-su-super?” 

John nodded. “My superhero. You have a crazy cool stutter. That’s an awesome superpower dude! Like- sometimes I’m just like Woah. That’s super unique. And the way you interpret words I just can’t. Damn, right you’re super. Most super boy I know.” 

Alex leaned over and kissed John. It was the first time he really had the confidence to do such a thing. He soon pulled away after John reciprocated. “Y-yo-you’re su-su-super too!” He chuckled and pulled John up. “D-d-do you th-think w-we could l-l-live w-w-with each ea-ea-each other?” Alex looked at him softly, his eyes looking as dreamy as ever. John nodded and held Alex's hands of course. “Of course. I just gotta convince my dad and get you away from Peter. We just need to get some proof.You’d love living with me and the family though. You deserve a loving home and I think just- if we can get you away from him, it’ll be like living a lottery.” John looked down at his boy and smiled at him. Alex was staring at him intently, looking for something- he didn’t know what. Maybe a reason to not live with him. But he couldn’t find any. John was his life. His home. The one person he could go to for help. And he wanted him forever. 

“You gone all quiet on me huh?” 

Alex smirked and nodded.

“Henry should be here soon…”

“C-can w-we w-w-watch Haikyuu wh-wh-while w-w-we w-w-wait?” Alex responded, playing with the collar of John’s shirt.

“Damn right.” He pulled out his phone and sat down on the grass, Alex sitting down next to him. He turned on his phone and went to Netflix. Alex watched John as he got the program ready. He looked at his face and he knew everything was worth it. If he had to suffer every day with his stutter and his crazy emotions he knew it’d be worth it if John was by his side.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry’s car pulled up into the parking lot. The man got out of his car and called John. He stood there on the concrete, staring down at his phone. “Goddammit John, answer me.” 

After one try he answered. The sounds of fumbling made his eyes roll _.  _

“AH SORRY DAD I WAS WATCHING A SHOW WITH ALEX-”, he yelled over the phone. Henry jerked back. “Quiet down now... Where are you? I’m in the parking lot now.”

“Uhhh-” John looked around for a moment, thinking about how to describe his location. “I can’t really describe it but I’ll meet you there with Alex, cya-” 

John hung up.

\----------------

Alex jumped up and got his things. “W-w-we finish th-this l-later?” 

John nodded. “Of course! We should go now- my father is in the parking lot” He grabbed Alex’s hand and hauled his backpack up, “Les go babey”.

They headed down the gravel path, Alex pointing out different animals he spotted as he walked. At one point he even saw a squirrel which he called arnie for some reason.

John had noted to get him a squirrel toy from the National Geographic store.

They made it to the parking lot, their attention drawing to the family car and henry notedly standing in the middle, looking down at his phone. “DAD!” he yelled out, causing Alex to flinch back. “Oh sorry, bud-” Alex just shrugged and smiled. 

John walked down hand-in-hand with Alex, who kinda skipped a bit. He skipped when he was happy.

Henry looked up at the sound of the gravel being shoveled around. Alex waved slightly, which in return the older Laurens promptly waved back.

John sighed and strengthened his grip on Alex’s hand, slightly reassuring him. Even though he was happy, he was so sure Alex had more things going on in there than he had let on. Which is fine, he just wanted to let Alex know he was here to help. 

Henry greeted them. He pulled John into a hug and signed Alex a hello (he didn’t want to overwhelm the boy with his booming voice). He happily signed a ‘hello’ back. “Okay, so the plan is that you - I guess sign us out? I don’t know, I know for sure that Peter won’t be happy if he were to come out of work to sign Alex out. Do you think they’ll let you?” John answered, kinda kicking the gravel.

“Mmm. It’s a tricky situation. I can go check in the front office. I would’ve suggested you boys stay in the car but I believe you guys have to come with me so if that’s fine with Alex, I need you guys to come with me.” Henry suggested.

John looked over at Alex, his eyes asking ‘are you okay with this?’. Alex got the memo and nodded. John gave his father who gave the thumbs up. 

The small group collected themselves and headed up to the front office, Alex’s grip strengthening and John’s hand. John looked over at Alex, his eyes telling him everything he needed to know.

The front office was brightly decorated. There were copious amounts of floral designed patterns staining the room. It matched the school ideal of ‘old merges with the new’. It smelt however. Maybe it was the mold problem the school had or the rotting of the old wood. One couldn’t tell the difference; a major surprise it wasn’t a designated health hazard.

_ Henry would remember this. _

Henry motioned for the boys to sit down as he went to the front desk and knocked promptly on the wooden bench, waiting for one of the office workers to greet him.

A young woman spun around in her office chair, the sound of the rust making Alex immediately pull down his hat and John laughing as he watched Alex’s reaction who quietly cursed at his boyfriend. 

“What can I do for you, Mr. Laurens?” She said, pushing up her glasses. “Well okay. I got a call from my son this morning-” he turned around, motioning to John and then promptly turned back. “My son's best friend had a meltdown this morning. I’m sure you’ve met Alexander before. He’s a very nice and caring boy. Anyways, my son called me informing me that Alex can’t stay at school because he is so overwhelmed. So, what we came up with is that I would come and take them both home. I don’t know if you’re aware but Alexander’s foster parent has severe anger issues and he doesn’t like any interference with his work and me and John were both concerned about Alexander’s safety with his father getting a call like that. Now, I’m sure that I am on Alexander’s emergency contact. If I could please take both of my boys-well my son and his friend, I would be very grateful” He finished, crossing his fingers that he can do this and it would all be over.

The young woman nodded. “One second,” She said as she got up. “If you could please take a seat I should only be a few minutes. I need to go look at Alexanders case and talk to my superiors.” 

She got up and left.

Henry sighed and sat down next to his son. “Now we play the waiting game….” He sighed and picked up some magazine that was based on education improvements or whatever.

John slowly picked at the wood on the coffee table, and Alex was just staring at Johns's finger, watching as he chipped off the wood. He soon followed and did the same thing as john, chipping the wood off in sync. He giggled as John flicked his finger. Soon it would turn into a ‘finger war’, which ended up with John being scolded and Alex laughing until he cried.

Alex decided this morning ended up being a good morning.

\----------

“Mister Laurens! May I talk with you and Alexander in the small room? It’ll only be for a second” She called from her spot behind the cabinets.

“W-w-w-why can’t John come?” Alex’s eyes widened at the lack of John’s name being mentioned.

Henry shrugged. “Maybe an important matter. I’m very sorry Alex.”

His eyes were now glassy. He grabbed onto John’s T-shirt. “P-p-please!” He yelped. 

“Hey, Alex it’ll be okay. It’s not the end of the world if I can’t go in with you. You’re just going to talk a little, then you can come to see me. I will not move from my spot I pinky promise” He held out his pinky for his boyfriend who quickly took it, wrapping his pinky around Johns. “G-good.”

\------

Henry and Alex walked into the small room where they were met with the young lady once more. Henry pulled out a chair for Alex, who gratefully sat down, smiling thankfully at the older man. Henry soon sat down next to him.

Alex sighed and rested his arms on the table, softly counting inside his head. 

_ 1 2 3 4 5 _

“Sorry to make this longer than it should be. You simply cannot take Alexander from here I’m afraid. He still needs parental permission.”

678910-

Alex gasped, trying to maintain is breathing.

_ ‘Oh no Peter will be mad ‘ _

_ ‘No no no no no-’ _

_ ‘I need John’ _

__

Alex couldn’t think. He can’t find out.

He just can't…

Henry shook his head, “there’s gotta be another way. He can’t be called” He stated, his words spilling out. “I’m sorry mister Laurens, I can go call him fo-” “NO” He yelled, cutting her off. “Please do not call him. I must. Alexander, please tell me Peter’s phone number”

He couldn’t respond. The emotions inside him were just building up, and like a dam, it would flow rapidly.

“N-n-no n-n-need J-J-J-John..” He cried, shaking more rapidly. Henry sighed. “Alexander needs to go and take a breather. He must be excused.”

The woman sighed. “If he must.”

Henry immediately got up and opened the door for Alex, who immediately rushed out and jumped into John’s open arms.

He bit his lip in anger, shutting the door once he noticed Alex relaxing. “Look-give me his number lady. I must be the one to call him.”

“ I can’t just give out his number! Thats illegal!” She yelled back at him.

“Ma’am I work for congress. Just-I’m his emergency contact god dang it. Give me his number. Don’t make this more traumatising than it needs to be. We have an upset boy out there who needs to escape this environment and you are making this so much more difficult. That boy has serious mental issues. He can’t take care of himself at the moment. His mind is against him and he needs support, and right now me and John are his only support. Now give me his number or I’ll file a complaint and take this to a higher order. Don’t think I won't, I know a lot of people who work in that field. I demand now, that you will give up his number. You are being unprofessional and not handling this like an adult. This is a child’s safety we are talking about right now. Screw the law, I have morals. I will not let a child suffer.” He finished, his face pink and his hands sweaty.

She nodded pathetically. “Fine.”

She looked down and read out the number, which Henry quickly entered in. “Thank you.”

\----

He dialed the number and it was quickly answered.

He made sure to put it on speaker, just so he could have proof of the approval.

“Hello is this Peter Fitzgerald?”

A gruff voice responded.

“Yes, this is Peter. Now who is this, I got shit to do man”

“I’m Henry Laurens, your foster son’s best friends father-”

“What did my boy do now. For fucks sakes that kid has to mess up all the god dang time. What did he do? Kill a kid? No? By-”

“Do not hang up. I am here to collect your son who had a meltdown at school. He no longer feels safe in the environment. Now I’m seeking permission to take him home if that is alright with you.”

The line went quiet for a second.

Then the gruff voice appeared once more.

“Yeah yeah, do whatever you want with the kid. Bring him home at seven, I’ll be home by then.”

He then hung up.

“What a pleasant conversation,” Henry stated as he put his phone away. “There. Now may I take my boys home?”

She nodded. “You may.” She got up and grabbed her things.

“Thank you.” He got up and opened the door and saw his boys laying there on the couch. They were sharing John’s torn up earphones and watching something.

He headed over and tapped on John’s shoulder, who yelped in surprise but quickly pulled the earpiece out. “We have permission. Let's go boys. How about we stop by McDonald’s and get some happy meals, boys?” He smiled as they both eagerly nodded. 

And with that

They were off.

  
  



	4. The Happy Meals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry buys Alex and John happy meals!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update lol i got caught up in some stuff but hey here it is sorry if there are any spelling errors I'm meant to be sleeping rn but I needed to upload this chapter and stuff and grrr i cannot see my keyboard and my chest is bleeding so tonight is a mess but enjoy.. chapter 5 tomorrow!!! (hopefully)

Alexander yanked at John’s shirt, pulling him back with all the strength he could muster. He motioned at the colourful playground beside them. Bright colours attracted Alexander and like a moth drawn to a flame, if he were to notice something that was bright he would be there in a second.

John laughed seeing Alexander’s excitement. His eyes would widen and his pupils would dilate. He needed no words to convey how he was feeling.

Alex once again motioned at the playground. “D-d-do y-y-you th-think w-w-we can go p-play?” He questioned, looking at John with a slight smile on his face, his dimples more pronounced at that moment.

John turned his head and looked at the sign on the door. What he saw burst all the happiness he had encased inside him. “I’m sorry Alex- there’s an age limit and we’re out of it..” He turned back around in time just to see Alex’s expression drop. “O-o-h no..” He looked away from John as he felt himself on the brink of tears. His body slowly shook at the thought. He had gotten so excited at the thought of playing on the equipment that the new information had totally ruined him. He sat there and the tears started to loom. He told himself that it was okay but it wasn’t. ‘It was foolish wasn’t it Alex’, his mind had enforced this idea and it was so against him all the time. 

He leaned down and grabbed a fallen napkin and wiped his eyes, quiet sniffles and a whimper was all that could be heard. He turned his head and looked at John, his eyes rimmed red. The tears did not stop, unlike Alex, they flowed fluently. There was nothing stopping them and like a storm, he knew it would pass. But in the heat of the moment, this was the worst thing he would ever experience. “J-J-John help me” his voice was small and shaky but John got the memo and immediately got up. He walked over and kneeled down like a parent would with a child. He looked up at his boyfriend and brought his finger up to his eyes and wiped away the tears, a smile slowly appearing on the ginger boy's face.

“I’m sorry we can’t go on the playground. Hey if you want, once Henry actually gets to order and after we eat we can go to the park near my house. The monkey one.” He assured the ginger boy, who slowly nodded along as he spoke.   
‘It doesn’t seem so bad’ Alexander noted.

“Sounds good?”

Alexander nodded excitedly. “I-I-I can’t w-w-wait!” He smiled boldly and shuffled over in his seat and motioned for John to sit down.

He happily obliged and sat next to his boyfriend and brought his hand up to Alexander’s and wrapped his own around it. He slowly moved his thumb in slight circles, applying pressure minimally and tracing over the hard curves and edges. He turned his head and looked at the ginger boy who was watching John’s movements like a hawk.   
\-------  
Henry soon came back with the happy meals in hand. He juggled the food a bit before sliding it down onto the cool plastic table. “Here you go kiddos. Two happy meals, including the toys. However- one of them has a girls toy because they just ran out I guess. So you two can decide who gets the one with the girls' toy. Once again, I’m sorry about that but ah well- I have to go back now and order for myself so you two have fun. And Alex, inside your meal, is a colour-in book for you and John to share. It has little pencils too so don’t worry.” He smiled and walked away, not caring to see if Alex was okay. He knew John had it.

Alex leaned over and opened the girl's happy meal. He immediately pulled out the toy. It was a little white horse wrapped in the thick plastic. He smiled and traced the horse with his finger, his face brightening by the second.

“I’ll take th-th-the g-g-girls one” he shook the toy around and smiled at John, curious to see the older boy’s reaction. John shrugged and grabbed at his own happy meal. “Cool. I got a soldier. You got a pony right? Maybe the soldier can ride the pony into battle?”

He suggested, bringing his toy over to Alex’s. Alex pulled his toy away and shoved his hand in front of John’s face. “N-no! S-s-she is w-w-w-way too pr-pr-pretty for him”, he furrowed his brows and hissed at John. “Sh-sh-she doesn’t n-need a man!” He yelped and turned away, petting his toy pony through the harsh plastic.

John was laughing meanwhile Alex was having his little moment. “Yeah yeah okay fair enough Alex. I’m all for your feminist pony. Go off boo but I just reckon that they would make a great combo~”, he was now leaning over his boyfriend, his chin resting on the younger boy’s shoulder. “If I was you I’d say yes or else.”

Alex turned his face to the side where he met John. He raised an eyebrow and firmly smirked. “O-or else?”  
“Well, I might just have to tickle you on the way back to the park. Or I could steal a fry from you. Or I could pepper you with so many kisses that you might just die slowly. I can do so much. Now be a good Alex and take up my offer”

Alex frowned for a sec, slowly nodding his head as he considered the multiple possibilities. “N-no. I w-will not t-take up y-y-your offer. I am an i-i-independent y-y-young man and s-so is my p-p-pony. G-g-goodbye Mr. L-L-Laurens. D-do w-w-whatever to me b-but y-you m-must know my o-o-opinion is n-not ch-changing.” He held his head up high, shutting his eyes and jokingly blocking John out.

“Whatever you say, your highness.” John’s lip quirked.

“If that’s what you want then I guess you’ll have to suffer from the consequences..”

He reached into Alex’s happy meal box and grabbed a french fry. Alex turned at the rustle of the thin paper covering. “W-w-woah th-that’s ma fries! H-hands o-off y-y-y-you ho-homo!” He giggled at the end.

“10000 c-comedy p-p-points for me!”, he laughed once more before reaching into his happy meal and grabbing his own food before John could snake any more.

“Yeah yeah, Alex. Comedy genius.”

John himself leaned over and reached into his own happy meal.

“Whilst I was fun. I believe the food needs to be eaten. Let's eat our cheeseburgers, chips, and our how could I forget, apple slices.”

Alex totally ignored John’s proclaim, already biting into his cheeseburger.

John looked over at his boyfriend and rolled his eyes and started to dig into his own.  
\--------  
Henry sat across from his boys, having finished his meal first he had time to watch over them. He had only met Alexander a few months earlier.

He was odd. He arrived with John at his home once. He was wearing the striking yellow bucket hat and snail stuck to his arm. He was small but the way he carried himself it seemed he had a larger-than-life personality.

When he spoke for the first time, Henry was struck by his stutter. He was more opposed at the fact John would be friends with someone like Alexander. No, John was kind, and Henry of course knew that. It was just John didn’t typically hang out with guys like Alexander. John fell into the typical head and body strong category. It was a shock to the older Laurens that his son would be so fascinated with a boy like Alexander.

But it was meant to be.

After all, it seemed that Henry himself was just as infatuated as his son.  
\--------

John stood up quickly and grabbed their rubbish. “Hey dad, before we go home can you maybe uh take me and Alex to the playground. He was kinda bummed out about not being able to play on the play equipment here so I thought that maybe we can go?”

Henry stopped for a moment only to then nod. “Of course. Did you guys like your meal?”

The boys nodded in unison.

Alex signed a quick thank you, John nodding in agreement with Alex.

“I’ll meet you boys by the car.”  
\------

Alex walked over to the bin with John, watching as he shoved the trash down the chute. He entangled his arm with John’s as if he were to be the older boys arm candy.

“You excited Alex?”

“V-v-very much s-s-so”.


	5. The park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boys go to da park. Drama comes along...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM BOOM BOOM I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM SJFKDJSLKJ ITS LATE AGAIN SO SORRY DA CHAPTER SHORT AND IM TRYING TO BE QUIET AND MY PUPPY IS SLEEPING BUT AYEEE HERE YOU GO!!! angst coming in the next few chapters sorry to ruin the happiness also shoutout to da bruh and cat alex gc!

“Annnnd here we are” John stood in front of the park, hand in hand with Alex.

“What do you think? Personally, I think it’s pretty cool. I and my siblings come here to play sometimes- we usually play tag and that but if you want we can just share secrets on the slide or play pretend in the cafe thingy thats underneath the main structure. What do you say?”

Alex nodded without hesitation and pulled John over to the pretend cafe. “T-t-take a s-s-seat please!” He bowed like a gentleman, waving his hand in a circle. John laughed and pulled out a log and sat down on it.

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a napkin he stole from McDonald's and tucked it into his shirt, mimicking the ‘fancy bib’.  
“O-o-okay cool. Wh-what do y-y-you w-w-want?” He leaned over the pretend cafe counter, resting his head on the palm of his hand.

John looked down at his hands, weighing up his options. After a cool moment, he came up with his order. “Okay- so I want a hotdog and choccy milk. That is all.” He rested his hands on his knees, raising an eyebrow and looking more professional than ever.

Alex nodded cooly in response and leaned down, grabbing clumps of barks and random twigs, and at one point he was pretty sure he saw a beetle in the mix. He got back up and placed it onto the pretend kitchen, swishing the mixture around with his hands. 

He pattered it down and pushed it into the correct hotdog shape. His lip quirked up and smiled at his creation. Looking down at his dirt-stained hands he had wondered if it was wondered. But in the end, it was for John. His beloved John. So ah- he shrugged it off. He wrapped his hands around Alex’s proclaimed hotdog and moved it over to the counter, practically slamming it. It made a disgusting lumpy, wet sound that made John’s stomach curl.

John eyed the food and then his boyfriend. “Very creative. What flavour?”

“U-uh- bark a-and tw-twigs and l-l-like uhmmmmm a b-beetle” He giggled and slapped it, it once again making the disgusting sound. John was severely impressed with Alex and how he was able to not just gag at the sight of his ‘hotdog’. “Oh lovely! My my,did not know my dear Alex was a 5-star chef. I cannot wait to eat it” he leaned over and grabbed the smoosh and brought it over to his mouth and pretended to eat it only to chuck it to the ground. “Very nice. What about my milkshake thought?”

Alex shrugged. “M-m-machines broke.”

John sighed, shaking his head. “What a disappointment”

Alex couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. “L-like m-me” 

John sighed. “Alex you’re not a disappointment. You’re far from it. You are the best thing in my life. Now stop it before I literally compliment you to death.” His expression deadpanned.

“Y-Y-e- O-OH SH-SHIT IT’S CH-CHARLES L-L-LEE” he quickly dropped to the ground, taking cover behind the cafe.

“The fuck is he doing here…” John growled and got onto his feet, turning around dramatically”

“Whats up dipshits.”


	6. Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John confronts Charles. Peter arrives to mess things up and Henry's concern grows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ain't nothin' gonna break-a my stride  
> Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no  
> I got to keep on movin'  
> Ain't nothin' gonna break-a my stride  
> I'm running and I won't touch ground  
> Oh no, I got to keep on movin'  
> \---  
> Anyways im tired and im just listening to the 80's smash hits and its dark in my room and my little polar bear light is on and its just a vibe like its kinda the life I wanna live but anyways smsms chapter uh 6. its a lovely one. next chapter is gonna have so angst im sorry about that I promise much more happiness I swear :D

“Whats up dipshits”

John got into a stance, ready to fight Lee. “What are you doing here?” John snarled and took a step further. 

“Well, I’m just here to have some fun. Isn’t that what you and your little boyfriend are doing?” He smirked at John and walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You and I are one in the same John. You don’t realize it but you are. You’re just like me except I made the right choice in life. You however are not. What are you doing hanging out with a freak like that? He can’t even speak properly and he's a ranga. You could do so much better John. How about pretty Martha. She’s a doll. And she can actually speak, unlike that loser. You chose the wrong path. If I was you I’d dump that freak and be with any girl that would have to be because damn, you can do so much better than that.”

John yelled out and punched Charles in the face. “Do not ever fucking speak to me ever again. How dare you insult my boyfriend. Yeah, so what he has a disability. That makes him fucking special. So what if he has trouble saying some words. That’s fucking okay. You lack basic human decency. Do not ever compare me to you. I am not the bad person here. Look at you, making fun of my boyfriend and disrespecting my sexuality. I am gay and I love my boyfriend who has a speech disability. Yeah sometimes it gets overwhelming for the both of us but it works out fine because I love him more than anything in this world. You cannot get in between us. He is so much more than his disability. But only ableist like you would say that. Now leave or you’ll regret it. I know people and they’ll make sure to make your life a living hell. NOW SCRAM BEFORE IT GETS WORSE FOR YOU” He took another step towards I'm, his foot slamming down on the ruined grass. Charles smirked and got up.

“This isn’t the end of this Laurens. Mark my words.” He turned and looked at me for a sec before jumping on his bike and riding away.

John sighed and rubbed his temples. How dare he, John thought.

He turned around at the sound of soft crying. Fuck, Alex is upset.

He jogged over to the pretend cafe and found his boyfriend sitting on the grass, his knees right up to his chest. He gently shook as he sobbed quietly. 

John leaned down and tapped the younger boy's shoulder, coaxing him out of his trance.

Alex looked up, his eyes like a raccoon. They were rimmed red and his perfect blue eyes were glassy with tears. “J-John?”

“Hey, are you okay?” He sat down and moved next to Alex. The ginger boy shook his head. “N-n-no. I-I-I heard th-the uh th-th-things he s-s-said about m-m-me…” He looked down as if he was guilty. “I-It's t-t-true wh-wh-what he s-s-said about m-m-me.” 

John snorted. “What? What Charles said? No way. That is so not true. You know I love you- right?”

Alex nodded. “B-b-but wh-wh-what y-you’re ly-ly-lying?”

John shook his head and lightly pressed down on the back of Alex’s neck and slowly started rubbing in circles soothingly. “Alex I don’t lie. I’m as honest as the next guy. Did you hear my response to Charles?”

He shook his head in reply. “N-no I sh-shut it ou-out a-after h-h-he s-s-s-said sh-sh-shit a-a-about m-me”

“Well. You should’ve listened because damn I said some real shit out there. All facts- no lies. Alex, I love you. And I would never leave you for some girl, no matter how attractive or how much I wanted her because 1, I love you, 2, I’m gay, 3- I don’t care about appearance but dang I got lucky with you because you might as well be the prettiest dang boy I’ve ever seen. Ever since you stumbled into the classroom with your striking yellow hat I knew that I was meant to be in your life. And well here I am comforting you after the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. Look Charles is the dumbest guy I’ve ever met. He’s seriously trash. He’s going to go nowhere in life and he’s an ableist cunt who values the wrong things. He has no human decency and I pray that he finds it somewhere and somehow. I may even be the one to teach it to him or even you because trust me, the shit that comes out of his mouth is false. And I really just hope he realizes his errors. I dunno man I just really wish I could punt him. I mean I did punch him in the face but the bitch was smirking. God, sometimes I wish I could just ya know yeet him into the trash- right where he belongs.”

Alex laughed at his joke and wiped away the flowing tears. The glowing red slowly disappeared and his striking blue eyes were back. “T-thanks John.” He leaned into John and rested his head against his shoulder. “I-it s-smells l-like sh-shit in h-here”.

John chuckled and nodded along. “It does. We should head back to my house and watch some more haikyuu if you’re up for it.”

Alex nodded and got up excitedly.

“Race you to the slide.” John dared, his eyebrows furrowing.  
-  
They walked hand in hand back to John’s house, Alex politely skipping along the pathway. 

“God I hate walking-” John groaned as he took another step, trying to keep up with his companion. Alex shrugged and kept on skipping, kinda tugging on John’s arm.  
-  
Alex had to admit, every time he went to John’s house he never failed to be amazed.

It was strikingly clean and he was so surprised that it did not stink of smoke and alcohol. He would cherish the moments of clean, refreshing air. A safe drug for him if you will.

They lived in a big, colonial-style house that looked like it would fit in a period-typical drama. John claims it was- Alexander doesn’t know what to make of it, however. 

He gawked at the beautiful flowers delicately placed in the front garden. John said they were his mother’s favorites. And Alex had to agree with John’s mother, they were very nice.

John tugged him away from the flowers and pulled him to the porch, politely asking him to take off his shoes which he agreed to.

He did as so, John rolling his eyes at the lime green colored socks. Alex liked his outfits to match.

He got up soon and John knocked. Alex would recount that there was a bird’s nest located on top of the outdoor light, he would make sure to ask John about that later.

Henry opened the door and greeted the two of them, pardoning himself and sliding to the side allowing the two boys to enter. Alex graciously signed a ‘thankyou’ as he walked past, eventually having to skip up to John who was already making his way up to his room.

“Okay we got the whole house to ourselves since my unlucky siblings are at school so we don’t have to worry about hearing them since they are very loud I guess- I got a tv in my room now and so I can just put Haikyuu up on Netflix and yada yada, sound good darlin’?”

Alex nodded excitedly. “Y-y-yes! It s-s-sounds p-p-perfect” He followed John up the stairs and headed into his cool blue room. He eyed the sketches on his wall. The subjects varied but they were mostly birds but he had spotted some drawings of himself which made his eyes sparkle.

John motioned for Alex to sit on the animal pillow which he quickly moved to and heaved his body upon the pillow. He rested his stomach on the pillow and slowly kicked his feet.

He would wish this day would never end.

Alex watched as John went and grabbed the remote and turned on both the XBOX and TV and sat down next to Alex, slowly moving his head side to side.

He reached for his XBOX remote, almost falling off the bed. Alex cackled at his expression in which John had almost started a tickle war. Almost.

John composed himself after his little show and moved his hand over the controller. Alex watched as he pressed down on the little colored buttons. He wondered what they did but he didn’t mind, John was his tech guy.

John yelped with success as he finally got it to work and they were once greeted with the lovely intro, in which Alex tried to sing but alas he did not know the words.

John cackled, finally getting some sort of revenge (even though it was little).

\--  
The banging at the door brought Henry’s attention away from his laptop. With a sigh he got up, fixing up his button-up shirt and making his way to the door.

He grunted as he tried once again to do the locks, after a few tries he managed but at this point, the older man was sweating.

As he opened the door he was greeted with the lovely sight of Peter. Wowee.

Henry’s heart seemed to stop. Why as he here? After all, it was only 2 pm.

“Mr. Laurens? Henry? Whatever- sorry I got a pass on work or whatever. I’m here to pick up Alex? Since you got him I guess. Yeah, I need the little squirt home. Can’t let him have too much fun right? Already got the whole school day off lucky bastard.” Peter laughed at his own joke, Henry following along, his laugh much duller.

“Uh right. Yeah, crazy. Um, he’s upstairs with John. I’ll go get him now- do you want to come in orrr-”

Peter stopped him. “Nah I’m good just hurry please- don’t wanna make this harder than it is for him right? Just need to get him home so he can do his chores and so I can have my dad time, by the tv and drinking some beer am I right?”

He cackled again, Henry no longer following.

“Yeah yeah-”, he gulped, “I’ll go get him now” Henry walked away leaving Peter alone.

“Stupid kid. God, I do not get paid enough for this little bastard.” Peter muttered to himself, leaning against the door.

“He’ll regret making a scene when he gets home..” He grinned to himself, picking at his own fingers.


	7. This is Alexander.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter takes Alex home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning!!!!!!:::: Child abuse, ableist language and forced underage drinking.
> 
> Sorry for the angst yall oop.

Henry stumbled up the stairs and made his way to John’s room. He stood outside the door and sighed. He stood there for a moment and rested his head against John’s door and listened to the boy’s laughter and sounds of enjoyment. He smiled for a second, took another breath, and knocked on the door.

“Come in!” John yelled out from inside. Henry slowly opened the door and stuck his head in. “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but Alex- uh Peter is here. And I’m sorry but he’s asking for you to go home with him. I’m sorry kiddo- another time maybe? Just message John or just come by I’ll let you in.”

He nodded sincerely at Alex who was staring at the pillow and fumbling with the texture. “O-o-okay I’m c-c-coming” He quickly hugged John and whispered something in his ear and moved quickly to Henry who looked down at the boy who wouldn’t even glance at him.

Henry sighed and leaded Alex to the front porch. Alex was trembling at this point. “H-h-h-hi Peter” He looked down, playing with his fingers mindlessly. 

“Aight. Hi there kiddo or whatever. Thanks for taking care of him- les go.” He grabbed Alex’s hand and pulled him out of the Laurens’ home. “Seeya and thanks. Thank Mr Laurens, Alexander”

He nodded. “Th-t-h-thanks H-henry” he smiled nervously at the older man who reciprocated.

\----  
“Seriously. What the fuck are you thinking. How dare you fake having a panic attack and leave school. Are you sick in the head. You can’t keep doing this shit. I’ve been looking up ways to get rid of a stutter so I have made a drink for you that will help remove that ugly stutter thank the lord. Also no more going to John for help or whatever. They’re trying to steal you away from me and Daddy needs the money so he can pay his rent so you are not going near John or his father and since you love missing school you can take the rest of the week off” Peter grunted and pulled out his cigarette, letting the smoke flow out of his mouth.  
Alex looked away from him, his eyes brimming with tears. He had to hold his tongue back, he didn’t want to anger the man even more. He rested his head against the window, quietly crying. “S-s-sorry” He managed to say, his voice still as shaky as ever.

“Whatever. When we get home you’re gonna drink that drink and clean up the house while I watch the TV. You better not ruin it again.” He steered into the driveway, pushing roughly down on the parking brake.

Alex just nodded and pushed down on his seatbelt. “You can get out now. House is already unlocked”

Alex quickly opened the door, collecting himself and shut the door quickly but softly. He hurried inside and ran to his room, looking for his phone before Peter would get to it.

He sighed in relief as he found his phone. He smiled and immediately went onto Instagram, going to John’s DMS and started typing.  
\----

On the gram:

YellowBucketHat: J O H N

NotACoward: yes?

YellowBucketHat: i think i'm grounded :(((

NotACoward:wym?? Is he taking your phone?

YellowBucketHat: idk lol. i grabbed it before he could get to it. he says he found me a drink to cure my stutter or whatever. i don't think i should drink it i don't necessarily wanna drink it tho??? like okay it might be a poison so like if i don't respond i might be dead?? call me heather chandler ig :)))

NotACoward: no don't say that. want me to come over baby??? ill bring you da animal graham crackers…

YellowBucketHat: AH! you so sweet but i cannot accept :((( i am not allowed to see you stinky peter said so and i gently sob. at last i have lettuce but ah its so sad. I'm not coming to school for the rest of the week either...

NotACoward: what the fuck Alex. you have to go to school he can’t deny your education?? thats some toxic shit you need to leave alex imma take care of this and talk to henry.. Stay strong baby. i give you a gentle and comforting hug!!1

YellowBucketHat: ah! thankyou my lovely husband ahhh okay ill stay strong but i give you a gentle and comforting hug :))  
NotACoward: np my prince!

YellowBucketHat: shit i gtg stinky man needs me brb 

NotACoward: all fine dear! text me when you get back <3

YellowBucketHat has liked a message you sent  
\---  
“Y-Yes P-P-Peter??” Alex called from his room, placing his phone down and getting up, smoothing down his sweater. 

“Come and drink your fucking drink” He yelled from downstairs, his voice echoing up the stairs.

Alex was shaking.

He sighed and walked out of his room, quietly trodding down the stairs. His head was hung low as he walked into the kitchen and he politely stuttered a ‘sorry’. He looked up as Peter handed him a glass of what seemed to be water. “D-d-do I have t-t-to?”

Peter nodded. “If you want to have that ugly stutter for the rest of your life then don’t.”

Alex gulped and lifted the glass to his mouth and started chugging it. He almost immediately spits it out but he managed to contain himself. He gulped the liquid down, tears brimming as it burned his raw throat.

Peter patted him softly on the back. “Good job kid, you made a good choice.”

Even though Alex was in pain he smiled. He had been praised and maybe it was worth it. He nodded at the older man and put the glass down, shaking his head a bit as the pain soon subsided.

“Go do your chores or whatever. Make sure the house is spotless.” Peter leaned over the counter and grabbed an empty body of vodka. Alex glared at him- he hadn’t seen the man drink from the glass and he did not seem to have any trace of the liquid in his breath.

He shook it off and left the kitchen, leaving to go to his room to start cleaning.  
\---  
He was halfway through cleaning when he started to sweat. He felt unbelievably heated but yet there was a cooling side. He felt almost relaxed in a sense but he could feel that the anxiety was present.

He sighed and sat down on his bed, slowly rocking back and forth. Since when did his stomach start to churn? He shut his eyes and hummed a song John had played to him on the guitar. He tried to get himself into that calm subspace but it never came. He felt on edge as if something was coming for him. Not in the sense of a creature in the night looking for the blood of a young boy. No, it was the feeling you feel when something happens to you and it’s like your whole life is over.

He couldn’t tell what it was but it didn’t sit right with him. He had to make a quick diary entry.

He got up and he was hit with sudden dizziness. He took a step, his leg wobbling. He looked down panicking and took another step. What was happening? He crouched down and picked up his diary, reaching for his pink pen and quickly jotting down his situation,

Dear Diary,   
Something is wrong with me. The drink Peter gave to me has made me sick I think. I feel dizzy and stressed yet calm but it’s a nightmare. I feel like vomiting and my head is pounding. I don’t know what’s wrong. Oh shit I didn’t finish my chores bye diary

This is Alex.  
Your editor.  
\---  
Peter's booming voice made Alex’s head scream louder than it did before. He was pissed.  
Great. He was already feeling like a baby deer in front of a large pack of coyotes- he did not need another incident. He got up and made his way back down the stairs, almost tripping down the last one but he maintained his balance surprisingly.

“Y-y-y-yessir-” His speech was slurred and it was hard to hear what he was even saying.

“What the fuck have you been doing. You haven’t been cleaning like I’ve asked” He growled and walked over to Alex and wrapped his hand around the smaller boy’s neck.

“Wh-why?”

His lack of awareness in the situation made Peter even madder. “You useless piece of shit why do I even bother anymore” He yelled and pushed him against the wall, Alex’s head making contact with the wall.

He yelped in pain and fell to the floor. He was splayed out, his hands to his sides and his legs spread wide. “D-d-d-don’t hurt m-m-me p-p-please..” He looked away from Peter and shut his eyes, trying to maintain his breathing.

Peter got down to his level and moved in front of him. “Well I asked you nicely before to clean up and you haven’t so what chance do you have?”  
A tear slipped from his eye.

He was inevitably doomed.


	8. Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes to Henry for help and Peter's lack of human decency starts so shine through,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short- tomorrow is the first day of school for me (we just had spring break!).

John angrily threw his phone, not really caring what or where it went. Alex was grounded and he was suddenly filled with such rage it was so hard to contain it. 

He got up, throwing his sheets around carelessly. He sighed, grumbling with stress.

What if Alexander ended up dead? He squinted his eyes in concentration as he jumped through his thoughts, trying to come up with some resolution, and if there were once, how could it be performed?

He leaned downed and pulled up his socks and treaded out of his room. His father’s office was only down the hallway. He got to the door and knocked there. He waited patiently for a moment, only for Henry to open the door. “Hey, dad we can talk?”

Henry nodded and pulled to the side, allowing John to walk in. “Find a seat”, he exclaimed, quickly shutting the door.

John found a seat quickly and sat down, nervously picking at his fingers as he waited for Henry. 

The older Laurens cleaned up his table and allowed room to write notes down if needed. He took a seat, grunting. “What is it, John?”

“Okay, so you know Alex? Right, of course, you do. So anyway, I got a message from his saying that he’s like grounded or whatever. And he said his father is making him drink a drink or whatever and it’s like apparently going to cure his stutter. Which we both know won’t happen so like he was worried it’ll poison him. And I don’t know I’m just incredibly worried for him dad. I just wish he could stay with us. I just don’t know what we can even do- I just want him safe dad..,” John looked down, trying to hide his tears.

“Look, John, I would adopt Alex in a heartbeat. But there is no proof of harm at the moment. In the law’s eye, he’s in a safe home. My hands are tied. Just- I don’t know son, we just got to wait for Alex and what he says. So he’s been grounded correctly?”

John nodded. “He’s been grounded- I don’t know how long, but yeah. He’s not coming to school for a few days either…”

John looked down again, wishing to avoid eye contact with his father, he did not want to show that he couldn’t handle this.  
Henry sighed. “And this troubles you?”

John looked up for the first time, his eyes rimmed red. “Y-y-yeah it’s just scary-,” He took a break to wipe his eyes before continuing. “It’s scary because he’s going to be home with that man and I’m scared Peter is going to do something to him. And we both know that he can’t protect himself at the moment. I just wish he were safe.”

Henry sighed and rubbed his temples. “Okay. We can head to Peter’s house tomorrow okay? And we’ll check on Alex. If we don’t think he is safe, we’ll call the police and take him”

John sighed frustratedly but nodded. “Yeah okay- thankyou..”

\----

Alex wiped up the vomit off the floor. The queasiness in his stomach never failed to go away. It was just as present as before and Peter was no help.

He pulled his hand up to his cheek and hissed as he felt the sting. Peter did more harm than he originally thought. He frowned as he finished wiping it up. It was strange. 

He moved his hand to his nose and felt the warm liquid ooze. He shivered as it rolled down his hand. The bleeding wouldn’t stop and he had theorized that his nose may possibly be broken. Yet there is nothing he can do, Peter lacks humanity to even conceive the idea to take him to an ER and he cannot contact John, his phone also being taken away.

He had felt awful. The drink made him feel sicker than he had ever been in the past year. The avid sweating, the ability to not see clearly, the aching stomach- it was a nightmare. Peter had left him to his own devices after the attack and he couldn’t seem to help himself.

The bleeding was constant. He hissed as he pulled a tissue and placed it over his nose. The added pressure killed and the pain was electrifying.

He sighed and sat himself down, and as if Peter had timed it himself, the older man walked out. “Oh look at you. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? You look pretty like this ya know? All bruised up. Seems like I did quite a number on you.” He sat down next to Alex and pulled the tissue away. “My my, that’s a lot of blood. Poor poor ‘Lexi. Come on, daddy will fix it up” He tutted and got up and headed to the cupboard.

Alex shivered at his words. He didn’t think Peter was like this. He really did enjoy him being in pain... 

He stood there and covered his nose, blood seeping onto his hands and coating them in a rich red. The metallic smell made his nose instinctively curl up, causing him to yelp in pain.

Peter laughed from the kitchen.

He was one scary man.


	9. Panic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter only gets worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's really short I'm busy with school and my homelife isn't that gr8 atm!! thankyou all who are reading it ilysm!!! Anyways sorry trigger warning for this one;
> 
> Mentions of violence, indirect pedophilia, Child abuse!!!

The ice pack was pressed hard against his nose. It somewhat numbed the pain, allowing Alex to breathe much lightly. Peter had left him to his own devices after that, telling him to just ‘not bleed onto the carpet’.

He sighed at that and let it be.

The wooden table acted as a sofa for him. It was much less comfortable but it was something comforting for him. He swung his legs over the side, slowly kicking back and forth. The pain was eased but at the end of the day, he still had a broken nose.

He sat up, rubbing his head and hissing at the sudden blood rush. He looked around and he was hit with a sudden wave of sleepiness. With a sigh he jumped off the table, his legs shaking at the seams. He dropped the ice pack and fell to the ground. The pain was unbearable. His head was aching like never before. It was an earthquake in his brain, and like a terror it was. He held his head and sobbed, trying to hold back his sounds of pure pain. He completely collapsed and rested his head against the carpet. The whole afternoon he had felt the same pain. It was a pure nightmare and he just wanted to stop.

He shut his eyes and bit down on his lip. He had let himself go.

\---Timeskip---

Alex had awoken to the worse screaming he had ever heard.

Waking up was just as traumatizing as the earlier events and suddenly he wishes he never woke up.

Looking around through his hazy vision he saw Peter angrily throw the beloved furniture around. His screams were so unrequited for. It did not help that his head was pounding and his stomach was a swirling storm.

He slowly got up, wincing from the pain. His sudden movement seemed to alert Peter who instantly turned around. His eyes were practically glowing red and if he were to be a cartoon character he was absolutely sure he would be as red as the color itself.

Peter walked over and grabbed Alex’s arm roughly, his fingertips dipping into his skin. “S-s-sir” he managed to spit out.

“Alex what the fuck did I tell you. Your chores are not done. This house is a fucking mess. There’s a pool of vomit just laying there. You’re so lazy just look at you. No wonder no one wanted you. You’re so fucking lucky I came in and saved the day. Where would you be without me hm? Probably living on the streets selling yourself out to anybody who would have you which I doubt anyone would just look at you honestly. Seriously. I’m so fucking done with you. God, you’re just a waste of space. The money I get for you is not even worth it at this point. I’d rather work out at some fucking fish market than be in your presence. Do you know how you make me feel? It’s horrible. You treat me like I’m not your father. I technically am now and you’re not respecting me. You do not care for me and it hurts ‘Lexi. It really does. Please- I care for you so much and you make me do this to you. You know I don’t want to but what kind of parent would I be if I didn’t discipline you. A bad one might I add. You just make me so fucking angry I cannot take it.” He snarled at him, making a terrible noise and throwing him against the floor. “I gave you one more chance and you’re going to fucking suffer now.”

Alex screamed out in pain as Peter’s foot slammed down on him multiple times. The pressure applied made him jolt up and tried to push him off. 

Peter was only angered by his actions. He yelled out and grabbed him by his sweater and slammed him against the wall. His head smashed against the wall and screamed louder than before. Tears poured hard and his shrieks filled the room.

Before he knew it he was down on the ground, surrounded by his own blood.

What had he done to deserve this?

“J-J-J-John”

He passed out in the living room, coated in his own blood.

Peter had won.


	10. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> death /dɛθ/, noun: the action or fact of dying or being killed; the end of the life of a person or organism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry

Henry got the call at exactly 10:59 pm. 

He dropped his phone after the call, the shock setting inside him was too much for the older man.

He wiped his face nervously. He had to be okay right?

He headed out of his room, his steps much more quieter and calculated but quick in pace. He nodded on the door and cleared his throat, “quick John- throw on some appropriate clothes we have to go.”

His voice danced, his tone changing radically. John yelped from inside but quickly got up. “What is it dad?,” he yawned quickly and leaned into his clothes hamper, pulling out an old band shirt and tracksuit pants. “The hospital called. There’s been an incident with Alexander”

John bit his lip and stared down, his eyes unfocusing quickly and everything suddenly became hazy. He sniffled but quickly covered up the overwhelming fear. “He is okay, right?” Hope poisoned his words, yet the voice inside his head fought. 

Henry sighed through the door. “I don’t know,” he paused and the silence only seemed to get louder. John moved quickly, his vision returning and the adrenaline finally made a presence. He took careful steps to the door and quickly opened it, “We going now?”

Henry nodded. “ Quick son. It’s urgent,” he rushed, grabbing his son by the hem of his shirt and pulling him towards the stairs. John nodded slowly but obliged. They headed down the stars, their movements fast yet calculated. The hallway didn’t seem long at all until John was suddenly in a rush. It was almost too long and narrow.

They escaped through the door and leaped into the car, hurrying into their seats and clamping in their seatbelts. “Do you know what happened?” John quickly asked, the light from the night sky framing his face. 

Henry nodded, “not too into detail but it was Peter’s doing.” He gruffly responded, wiping his forehead as sweat raced down his forehead.

“Fuck.”  
\----

The hospital was bleak. Pale and dying. Hope was draining and John could do nothing yet anxiously play with his fingers. It seemed like hours and alas, no news. His knee bounced rhythmically. Had he fought for Alex to stay he could’ve been safe. He could’ve been happy and watching Haikyuu! With him but no. He was dying in a hospital room which seemed too cheery.

John disliked the children's ward. It didn’t fit the mood. The walls were filled brightly coloured animals and he knew Alex would love to see it. His eyes would light up and he would cutely exclaim animal facts about each individual species.

But the boy lays unconscious next to him, the steady heart beat monitor reminding him where he was. The monkeys painted on the wall didn’t make him happy - it reminded him of his boy. His boy who was dying. His boy who smiled even though he’d been so hurt by so many people.

Alex didn’t deserve this. 

John frowned and turned to Alexander. He laid there and John was sure he had never been so small. Too many tubes and medical things had covered his body - it seemed almost unreal.

John looked away. He frowned and stared at a white tile, his mind focusing on the speckles. Henry, whom was sitting right beside him, was snoring like crazy.

John lifted his head up ad stared at his father. He seemed so calm. He couldn’t understand how a man could sleep when someone was dying. John didn’t know Alex like he did.

He didn’t know how Alex purred when his hair was played with. He didn’t know how Alex dreamt of making a difference - how he wanted to be a lawyer or join the US government. He didn’t know Alex was the kindest person to ever exist. He didn’t know Alex really liked cheese or the fact that he loved going to John’s football games because he liked the food and he loved it when he got to scream John’s name when John scored a touchdown.

He loved Alex. Every single thing he did made a difference to him.

He’d cross his fingers and prayed.

He prayed for Alex to make the night. Even though the nurses weakly smiled and said, theres a chance, he knew Alex was stronger than this.

Beep, beep, beep - - -----


End file.
